I hooked Earl Staggs

Title: Hook the Reader: Muse Forum with Earl Staggs: This is one of the workshops I participated in last week.
Earl’s remarks are in brackets; (I dont know how to change color)
Barbara Bockman

Mark’s breathing came in short, burning gasps. He was almost keeping up with Will, the barking and baying [baying is better by itself] of the hounds drawing them forward, deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the woods. The rising sun pulled a mysterious haze up from the forest floor.  [great line; I may steal it]


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Holly Owen
    Oct 26, 2010 @ 20:57:26

    What a vivid picture. I got pulled right into the scene with only those few well-crafted lines. I was hoping to click on something that would let me read more.


  2. Barbara Bockman
    Oct 26, 2010 @ 22:07:10

    Thank you; I’m glad I hooked you, too.

    The story is done, I just don’t know where to submit it.


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